The tale of Linda Crostan, is but true to say the least
Things she did out here in Aus, does cover man and beast
For the need to do confession, did lay heavy on her heart
When she broke loose and flicked her bloke, now the fun could start
We took her on at “Durty’s, she’d serve she’d wash and dust
To her surprise and Federal Cops, became witness to a bust (drugs)
Taxi drivers were her forte, be they drunk, or they Chinese
When chased up Bondi Road by one, barely brought her to her knees
Even coming from the Airport, an assault there, she did see
Just how much more can go wrong, to poor little old me
T’was Linda’s tent the only one, where dingos chose to spoon
It was not her body they were after, only her cheap goon (plonk)
The thought of heading west was next, across the Ocean Road
With sis of mine and a “Durty Dub”, what a bloomin load
Took a job at Nelly’s Perth, my lights were not switched on
Got evicted from U-beaut hostel, and then killed one “Icon” (kangaroo)
So gung ho! She set to travel on, hey Linda is no fool
But on her way to Monkey Mia, the car ran out of fuel
And there they were the three of them, bunked up for the night
In the hotel Toyota Camray, it was a freeken site
Then to be saved next morning, a 1,000 miles from care
Three fishermen did pass our way, and rescued us from there
After all was seen and done, to Sydney back we came
To wrestle off those male sharks, to wit, I lost the game
Hence, I’m up on my Novenas, Hail Mary’s, confession too
If you get me on a quiet night, I’ll spill my guts to you
So bring it on where e’re I go, the Asia’s to Stonehenge
There’ll be no moss under this girl’s feet, cause it’s Skibbereen’s Revenge!
Michael Nissen
9 July 2006
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