Howww – do they do it, those Leps in County Cork
This Lepanese called Connolly, so one sided with his talk
He’s lived at Bondi Junction, in a palace so they say
Three bedrooms with an on-suite, harbour views across the way
There’s been so many flat mates, most were cute and snuggly
Then there were the other few, that past the test for ugly
I’m told he’ll have fond memories of Miriam and Anne
Those girls of Durty Nelly’s mould, to perve on was his plan
As he sat there in the parlour, where the smoke was stale and thick
And yell, “hey get me a Carlton draught” before I’m bloody sick
Whilst taking in most of the pubs, I’ll just name a few
Easts Leagues, Teagardens, Cock n Bull and the Court House too
And when he’d had enough there came a time for food
He’d head straight for five star kebab, that seemed to fill this dude
For culture he could hum a tune ACDC, Pink Floyd and Pearl Jam
Hates the likes of Johnny Logan, gives Madonna such a slam
He is passionate for his hurling, and the rebel County Cork
Loves his soccer boy Roy Keanne, on hands and knees he’d walk
To see this G-d with ball at foot, nothing else was sighted
Yet his favourite son did cross the way, and play for Manchester United
So to bury all his sorrows, to stop from telling fibs
He’d tootle off to Hurricanes for a rack of kosher ribs
Or visit Rizzy Pizza, where the special was big red
And watch his porno DVD’s while eating it in bed
Yet all these words of wisdom, do come with some demise
As mates and friends that you have made, wipe tears from in their eyes
For five long years we’ve known you, now G-d’s speed, we wish you well
From all of us at Durty Nelly’s, Mike, Gittel, Alisa, Daniel and Zel
Mike Nissen
16 August 2005
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